Music

Those of you who know me well know that I have a bit of a thing for music. One of my professors in college told me that I was probably drawn to writing because it was my quiet little introverted way of expressing myself. She was probably right. But as I've gotten a little older, a little wrinklier, a little more cynical, and a lot more fun...I think that need for self expression has somehow shifted to music. Not that I'm very talented at actually PLAYING music...but I can make one hell of a mixed cd:) Here's my mix for you all today...my sweet fwends who rock my world.

Eyes - Rogue Wave
One Hundred Million Years - M. Ward
Trenchtown Rock - Bob Marley
I'm Good, I'm Gone - Lykke Li
Galileo - Indigo Girls
Feelin' Alright - Sweatshop Union
Middle Management - Bishop Allen
The Motorcycle Song - Arlo Guthrie
Travelin' Thru - Dolly Parton
Skinny Love - Bon Iver
Burn One Down (the live version) - Ben Harper
Old Enough - The Raconteurs
Beautiful - Damien Marley

Happy listening :)

Happiness

For a lot of years, and maybe it's just youth and inexperience, I spent much of my time pointing fingers at why I wasn't happy at that particular moment. "My car is broken." "My boss is unrealistic." "We always do whatever you want to do." "My parents are getting divorced." "The economy sucks." And on and on and on. Luckily I've had a few honest and forthright friends along the way willing to grab my shoulders and shake me out of my self-inflicted victimization. Because after all, the first lesson you learn as a farm kid is that the corn doesn't grow unless you plant it, and if you don't plant it...no one else is going to do it for you. Own your actions and decisions. Take responsibility. As Shannon Hoon (of Blind Melon fame for you non-music-snobs:)) would say, "when life is hard, you have to change."

Some sad news came my way today regarding a dear friend who wasn't happy, and wasn't willing to change to make himself so. We all get bogged down by gray weather, long winters, bad economies, lackluster relationships and aging Siberian Huskies...to name a few :) However what I've somehow learned along the way...and which I hope to never forget...is that we make our own happiness. We are the masters and commanders of our own universes. And despite an ailing economy, the credit market in ruins, a rapidly overpopulated earth and the unfortunate boom of reality television (okay I admit I'm a Hills addict. It's sad but true. I'm currently engaging in an Ernest Hemingway treatment program :))...we have the luxury of free will. The ability and right to wake up in the morning on the sunny side of the street.

So...here's to all of the rays of sunshine in my life...who inspire me each and every moment to be a better person, a smarter person, a happier person. You know who you are:) "There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way." -Buddha

Baffin Island

Freedom Fries

The fam and I spent the better part of February spit-shining our ugly American skills (Ain't ya'll got a KFC 'round here? You know, The Colonel?) amongst the splitter granite spires of Chamonix, France. We skied. A lot. And ate a whole mess of crepes :)

Ecuador

Yeah, so, it's been awhile. In addition to TPS reports and grooming MK for the next Westminster Dog Show (he's a shoe in for the "toy dog" category), I got outside a little. Ecuador, baby!

It's English, stupid.

This blog began as a knife-to-the-throat exercise encouraged by my place of employment. And...just like anything forced upon me...I eschewed it for the most part. Bucking the system as us anarchist wannabes do while kneeling before our Zac De La Rocha shrines. However...as the months (and years) pass by and all of the time I USED to devote to writing gradually gets siphoned away hosting journalists, restoring houses, selling houses, performing deep-conditioning treatments for a certain metrosexual Siberian Husky, and occasionally running/skiing/climbing/rafting/hiking through the hills as quickly as possible (the faster you go the more you can see!)...I've decided to use this little sliver of Al Gore's series of tubes called the internet machine to bone up on my scholarly skills. So, to keep you all mildly interested in escapades that compromise my jam-packed days and often sleepless nights...I vow to update this mo'fo once a week. Giddyup!

Fishin'

My favorite ladies...and some slippery little suckers.

ee cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                  i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

All of my fav's...

Bright Eyes, Jim James, and M. Ward give one of my favorite songs a new twist...

My Morning Jacket...Bozeman...Sept. 30!!!

A few more Beartooth shots...

Mmmm...trout :)

Yep, This Is My Job

Last week my PR guru mentor, Mike, and I accompanied a journalist, Peter Potterfield, into the remote and breathtaking Beartooth mountains. After five days and 30 miles, we all walked off the trail wanting more. Mike more fishing, me more climbing, Peter more pristine campsites!

Joshua James

Proving that midwesterner's kick arse. This Lincoln, Nebraska native is rockin' my world lately...

Wailin' Jenny's

Reason #492 why I need to move to Canada. The Wailin' Jenny's...I could listen to them every day for the rest of my life and never tire of their sweet voices. My new favorite song, Beautiful Dawn. Enjoy! :)

Ani Difranco

Sometimes you just have to hug your best girlfriends...and dance to Ani.

Maybe you can keep me from ever being happy, but you aren't going to stop me from having fun...

Le Vent du Nord

Into The Wild

My favorite lyrics of the month...can't get 'em out of my head.

When I walk beside her
I am the better man
When I look to leave her
I always stagger back again

Once I built an ivory tower
So I could worship from above
When I climb down to be set free
She took me in again

There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world

When she comes to greet me
She is mercy at my feet
I see her inner charm
She just throws it back at me

Once I dug an early grave
To find a better land
She just smiled and laughed at me
And took her rules back again

[CHORUS]

When I go to cross that river
She is comfort by my side
When I try to understand
She just opens up her hands

[CHORUS]

Once I stood to lose her
And I saw what I had done
Bowed down and threw away the hours
Of her garden and her sun

So I tried to want her
I turned to see her weep
40 days and 40 nights
And it's still coming down on me

Sera Cahoone

A dear friend made me a mixed CD for my birthday last year...and in doing so introduced me to Sera Cahoone. I recently skipped down memory lane during a trip back to the rustling cornfields of Iowa. This song, and video, was the soundtrack to my journey. I love you, Grandma!!

Summer Fever Reading List

The last couple of springs...I've had a serious bout of unrest. I find myself packing my bags without a plane ticket or destination in mind...simply to have them at the ready. My dog is in a constant state of worry, sensing my feelings of unhappiness or pure wanderlust...and concerned that he in all of his fuzzy glory will somehow get left behind. I think that it may simply be because I've lived in Bozeman for almost 11 years now, and perhaps I'm just ready for a change. The budding trees, greening grass, and blue skies are a reminder of what lies on the "other side", an undiscovered utopia that may not be so idyllic once I arrive there. But curious I remain...and who knows...maybe one of these days I'll actually stir the pot enough to leave my cozy little mountain town for the world yet to be experienced.

In the meantime, I ply myself with books of what I dream of doing...in various forms and conditions. Here's a few that always find their way onto my reading list around May 1st every year...and last night I found myself cracking open my favorite book of all time...right on schedule :)

Travels With Charley by John Steinbeck.
-I would quit my life and squeeze myself and my puppy into Rocinante with Charlie and John at the helm, discovering America all over again. After all, people don't take trips, trips take people.

Desert Solitaire by Edward Abbey
-My friend Mike and I always joke about eschewing our careers, significant others, responsibilities, student loan payments, etc. and finding a nice patch of sand for a delapidated double wide and writing the great American novel. I'd be satisfied with an old Airstream and a short story or two :)


Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder
-This is a new one to the Edwards Reading Club of One...but it certainly has a place of permanance. I always blamed a certain person for me giving up my opportunity to join the Peace Corps, or some other similar "find my way by giving to others" org. But what I came to realize through the pages of this book...is that true selflessness and kindness are the same whether you're in a TB-ridden shanty town in Haiti, or building houses in suburban Bozeman.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
-Whether I'm curled up in a hammock listening to the river rush by as the pages crackle in the breeze...or sprawled on the floor with Danielle, a box of milk duds, and the DVD version of this classic...I'm still perplexed about why exactly Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth just can't seem to get together! Agh!

Happy Reading :)

Ode to Winter

I love winter. I really do. I get all giddy in November...the ice starts forming, the flakes start falling, I start knitting scarves (the only item I can knit that doesn't result in a third arm hole, top-hat like tooks, and 6-toed socks), and McKinley's nose turns pink...apparently to celebrate Valentine's Day in style. And here in Montana...the last few winters have been lackluster...to say the least. When you only get two powder days all friggin' year...you'd better make damn sure you didn't decide to go to work that day. However this year...the snow gods smiled upon the Big Sky state broadly and dumped heaps and heaps of fluffy stuff all winter long, and all spring long, and now...all summer long?!?!?! I know beggers can't be choosers. I know whitewater enthusiasts are rapidly growing akin to the Joker from Batman with their smug smiles...daydreaming wistfully about pumping rivers and ginormous rapids. I know this is what winter in Montana is SUPPOSED to be like. But, I also know it's May 1 and I'm risking frostbite by insisting on wearing my flip flops. I've been a firm believer...once you go flip flop you don't go back. Grin and bear the freak June snowstorms, blustery May rainshowers, frosty September mornings. However, this year, I've already lost three toenails to recreational pursuits and one ill-situated rocking chair, and I'd rather put off risking frostbite to my already tender toes. So...I'd appreciate it if you all joined me in a little spring haiku, inspired by a certain vagabond friend.

Cold smoke brings care bear puke
skis floating, crashing, grinning, hooting.
F&*#@$^ snow in my sandal.