What's in a home? Is it studs and drywall? Acreage and fences? A doormat and microwave? I've been thinking about that a lot since I became homeless about six months ago. I have a storage unit and PO Box (thanks, sister). I have a car and two puppies. I have a dreamy dude who is an insatiable chess player. And I have lots and lots of boxes of, well, stuff. After four days in Bozeman moving out of my apartment and packing up stuff for storage and packing up the truck for Whitefish, I sat in the middle of my "stuff" for a good long while and thought about what was actually there. Memories that make me cry. Memories that make me laugh. Broken pieces of charcoal from an art class taken ten (yes, I'm old) years ago in college. My very first mountain bike. Photographs. Old jackets and bags. No less than five pairs of crampons and four pairs of ice climbing boots. Towels. Pillows. Blankets. Stuff.
What do we do with all of this "stuff"? What do we truly need? When I think about when I've been the happiest in life, everything i owned fit into a backpack and a few Tupperware bins. I lived in New Zealand for five months with two pairs of shorts, running shoes, climbing gear, a fleece and a rain jacket. Those were the most blissful, fulfilling, and meaningful days of my life. So far :) So as I was sitting amongst all of my belongings in my storage unit, trying to figure out what to leave and what to take...I had a bit of an epiphany (okay. It could have been all of the chocolate-covered-cinnamon-bears I was tripping out on). The reason why I have such a hard time letting go of the past, and moving on in the future...is because I'm afraid I'll forget all of the lessons I learned along the way. The ripped backpack that saw the summits of so many mountains taught me patience, perseverance, strength and humility. The scrapbook of all of the houses Chris and I built and remodeled taught me about love, kindness, trust, priorities in life, the importance of solid communication, and how to lay tile like a mo' fo'. And all of the random art supplies, mixed cd's and chock-full journals are reminders that I can see myself through just about anything...provided I have the right tools :) I cling to all of these reminders of the past because I need their strength to get me through the future. As you will soon find out...there are more and more changes on the way. Big changes, little changes, decisions that will forever take my life in a completely different direction than the course I've been charting.
So, stay tuned. In the meantime...come and visit me in my new temporary home :) It's lovely in Whitefish in the spring time...
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